Community. You’ve heard the saying by Jim Rohn, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I’ve been aware of that quote for several years. But, it wasn’t until I started dating Tyler, that I REALLY heard it. Or, more accurately, it was the first time that sentiment about community was used to challenge me.
You see, Tyler has been on his own recovery and healing journey for several years. Prior to meeting him, I was struggling in survival mode much of the time. As we were getting to know each other better, he talked about his friendships and it was becoming apparent to me that he was meeting with these friends regularly, like EVERY week! He had community! Tuesday nights he had his men’s Bible study, Wednesday mornings he met with his mentor for coffee (virtual coffee since they live 300 miles apart), Wednesday nights he visited with another friend while they played Fortnite (again, 300 miles apart), the other days and nights of the week he made room for at least 1 or 2 other in-person meet-ups or phone calls with men. Men whom he calls his accountability partners or accounta-billy-buddies.
“Iron sharpen iron, and one person sharpens another.” – Provers 27:17 CSB
“The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.” – Proverbs 13:20 CSB
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 CSB
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.” – James 5:16 CSB
“For I want very much to see you, so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you, that is, to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” – Romans 1:11-12 CSB
It was during one of our phone calls that he said, “I’m hearing that you have family and friends in your corner, but how many of them do you meet with regularly?” Me: “Ummmmmm, none,” embarrassed by my response. Him: “Well, what’s stopping you? If they are important to you, then why aren’t you intentional about that?” Ugh. He was right. And, I didn’t like admitting it.
So, I did what Tyler did when God nudged him to develop a community of Christian men, I started praying. It has been at least 2 ½ years and I’m excited to say that I now have a solid community of ladies with whom I meet regularly!! And, I am intentional about it! My time with each woman varies – weekly phone calls, google meets, Bible study, recovery group, and/or in-person meet ups! We encourage each other, pray for one another, study God’s word together, and gently challenge each other. The one rule is – we gotta be real. At this stage in the game, there’s no room for smoke and mirrors, gossip, or pretending we are “fine.” And, I LOVE IT!!! I feel incredibly blessed to grow and develop godly relationships with these women. They have, in turn, helped me grow my own faith by leaps and bounds. Our meet-ups are often the highlights of my week!
God created us for community. He did not intend for any of us to go at this thing alone. We need other Jesus lovers to link arms with us as we summit joy filled mountain tops or journey through difficult or painful valleys.
Do you have community? Are you intentional about cultivating those relationships regularly?
